Rassling justice.

This story, taken from my private journal, September 16, 2000, does not put small town Texas entertainment in the most flattering light, but there are folks who are huge fans.   Of course, all the violence is fake, but I am not so sure about the bloodlust of the audience… 

Saturday, September 16, 2000 

Tonight I went to see small time pro rassling at the Humble Bingo Hall.  This was Wrestlefest 2000 where the main event was a tag team match. It was family entertainment, of a sort. If you like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing you will like.  Young and old were there and we all stood and faced the flag and put our hand over our heart while they played the national anthem.  Honestly I was touched by the reverent silence in the hall…

 …. followed by the ringmaster yelling at us that we were the biggest bunch of losers he had ever laid eyes on and he’s embarrassed to be in the same hall with a bunch of losers like us and we have maybe twelve teeth among us, and this event is sponsored by ABC Finance Loan company in Humble specializing in loans from $40 to $450 because losers always need money…  and someone yelled vulgar names at the ringmaster, and the ringmaster yelled back the same.   Screeching heavy metal music blasted the hall and out came bad guy Big Daddy from Cincinnati with Cindy his redheaded buxom girlfriend in a black leather top and tight leopard skin pants.  One child perhaps nine years old turned to a woman standing next to him and said in a polite, shy way, “I want to yell something” and the woman kindly said, “Son, if your parents don’t mind then go right ahead and yell” so the kid yelled a string of vulgar names at Cindy which made the grownups laugh.  Grandmas sucking on cigarettes and beer yelled at good guy Necro Butcher to beat Big Daddy while others preferred that Necro stomp him, which Necro proceeded to do by flailing Big Daddy with a trash can full of cords and toasters and toilet seats and curtain rods and a street corner stop sign, then beat him with the trash can itself, and for good measure he body-slammed Cindy too.  In another match, after one bad guy was slammed with an especially satisfying smack, a middle aged matron clenched her fist and exclaimed, “Oh yes! I like that!” 

 The finale was a tag team match with the good guys headed by the current champion Hotstuff Hernandez.  It was close, but the good guys won.  At the end of it all (thanks to ABC Finance Loan Company) we all left feeling that no matter how much we are wronged in the world outside, we know that in our Humble Bingo Hall rassling justice is done.

Please let us know what you think about what we see.